Description
About the Book
Are you really single?
At first, the question may seem simple. But this book suggests that being unmarried is not necessarily the same thing as being truly single—and being married is not necessarily the same thing as being whole.
Are You Really Single? takes the conversation beyond relationship status and into the deeper territory of identity.
The book explores the idea that people can experience loneliness, insecurity and a lack of wholeness regardless of whether they are married or unmarried. It challenges readers to look beyond the relationship they have—or hope to have—and examine the person they are becoming.
At the heart of the book is a simple but significant question:
Do you know who you are?
The introduction presents identity as an important foundation for healthy relationships and personal development. It encourages readers not to view another person as the solution to unresolved questions within themselves, but to pursue a deeper understanding of who they are.
Beyond Relationship Status
Being single is often treated simply as a relationship status.
This book invites readers to think more deeply.
Someone may be unmarried yet secure, fulfilled and at peace with who they are. Someone else may be married yet experience profound loneliness or carry unresolved wounds into the relationship.
For this reason, Are You Really Single? is not simply a book about dating or finding a spouse. It is a conversation about identity, wholeness and becoming the person you are meant to be.
What You Will Discover
Readers are invited to explore themes including:
- The deeper meaning of being single
- Identity and self-understanding
- The relationship between identity and relationships
- Personal wholeness
- Emotional and relational maturity
- The dangers of expecting relationships to solve identity struggles
- Becoming secure in who you are
- The importance of healing and personal growth
- Entering relationships from a place of wholeness
- Maintaining personal identity within marriage
- Becoming whole while continuing to grow
A Book for More Than Singles
Despite its title, Are You Really Single? is not limited to people who have never been married.
The book speaks to people in different seasons of life, including those who are:
- Single
- Engaged
- Married
- Divorced
- Widowed
- Preparing for marriage
- Reflecting on their identity and personal growth
Its central conversation remains relevant regardless of relationship status: Who are you, and are you becoming whole?
Separate, Unique and Whole
Three ideas stand at the centre of the book:
Separate. Unique. Whole.
The introduction presents these qualities as foundational to the journey explored throughout the book.
Being separate speaks to having an identity that is not completely dependent on another person.
Being unique recognises the individuality of each person and the importance of understanding who you are.
Being whole points towards becoming a person who can enter relationships without expecting another person to complete what remains unresolved within them.
Together, these ideas provide a framework for reflecting on identity, relationships and personal development.
Who Is This Book For?
Are You Really Single? is suitable for:
- Singles seeking greater clarity about identity and relationships
- People preparing for marriage
- Engaged couples
- Married people seeking deeper personal understanding
- Divorced or widowed individuals navigating a new season
- Young adults exploring identity and purpose
- People struggling with loneliness despite being in a relationship
- Readers interested in healthy relationships and personal growth
- Anyone who wants to understand themselves more deeply
Why Read This Book?
Relationships can become complicated when people bring unresolved questions about identity, worth and wholeness into them.
This book encourages readers to pause before simply asking, “When will I find the right person?”
It invites a deeper question:
“Have I found myself?”
Through honest reflection, readers are encouraged to examine their identity, understand themselves more deeply and pursue personal wholeness as an important part of their relational journey.
An Invitation to Honest Reflection
This is not a book to simply read and put away.
It is an invitation to allow difficult questions to sit with you.
To reflect.
To examine your story.
To understand who you are.
To recognise areas where growth may still be needed.
And ultimately, to become more secure in your identity while continuing the lifelong journey of becoming whole.
The Question at the Beginning
The journey begins with one question:
Are you really single?
By the end, the hope is that you will be able to answer that question with greater confidence and self-understanding.
For those who are unmarried, it can become an affirmation of being secure in who you are.
For those who are married, it can become an opportunity to reflect on whether you entered the relationship with a sense of identity and wholeness—and how you continue to grow within it.
Get Your Copy
Begin a deeper conversation about identity, relationships and wholeness.
Read Are You Really Single? and discover why understanding who you are may be just as important as understanding who you want to be with.
Book Information
Book: Are You Really Single?
Format: PDF
Author: Kay Benson-Akhigbe ll
Publisher: Xchange Publishing
ISBN: 978-978-64172-2-6
Language: English
Edition: Copyright © 2026
